


One Moment

by fingalsanteater



Category: Predestination (2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 14:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13592418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fingalsanteater/pseuds/fingalsanteater





	One Moment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ConvenientAlias](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConvenientAlias/gifts).



When their conversation takes them to the shadowed booth, the Barkeep is answering the echoes of the past, his memory of his first time here faded and ragged like an old, worn photograph. Muscle memory serves him well, the flash of some half-remembered sense reminding him of the next step - the taste and burn of alcohol, the clinging smell of tobacco, and the touch of John’s leg to his under the table.

When he was in John’s place, telling his story to an interested barkeep in service of a bet, the exciting, long forgotten spark of want raced up his spine at the promise of just a chaste press of another’s calf against his own. Then, he didn’t yet know he was on the precipice of a cliff, primed to be pushed by the very hands he watched, idly wondering what they would feel like on his body. He didn’t know before, in much different circumstances, he’d had those hands on him in all the ways he still longed for.

The tear in leather bench seat is new to him, his fingers finding it next to his thigh in an anxious brush of his hands over his jeans. He strokes down the edges of the slit in the leather and presses his fingers into the soft foam inside, a reminder to himself that he’s on the on the other side of the table now. 

John speaks, leaning over the table, his eyes bright, yet darkly bitter with disappointments and heartaches. How difficult had it been for the Barkeep to keep silent about the truth, as he himself is doing now? How much did his body ache for John - for Jane - and how had he withstood the flirtatious press of John’s leg?

It doesn’t matter whether it was meant to or not, this is the way it happened:

John finishes his story, but the Barkeep doesn’t ask his question there about the man that broke John’s heart. He holds it close to his own heart, eager to spare John the pain of the truth for just a while longer.

“That was a story worthy of something better than even top shelf,” he tells John, and says, “Come with me.” John follows him to the basement, down those long dark steps, the promise of something incredible pricking his mind and body like lightning striking sand, solidifying into something fragile.

He’s not as wary as the Barkeep had once been, so he sticks closer, and it’s easy to reach out, wrap a hand around his arm and pull him even closer. It’s easy to pull him so close that the Barkeep’s body sings with joy for the first time in so long. He kisses John and feels him tense under his hands which so desperately grip his shoulders.

John pushes him away and says, “What the hell?” His voice is shaking.

“Tell me you don’t want to,” answers the Barkeep, and John narrows his eyes, draws his mouth tight. For a second, the Barkeep thinks John just might say no. He can be defiant, contrary when he wants to be. Then, they are kissing again. John has met his challenge head-on with the kind of passion the Barkeep always relished. 

John’s as soft as he remembers, his scars faded to pink and smooth to the touch. The Barkeep runs his fingers over his long hysterectomy scar, and John shudders under his touch.

“Don’t,” he whispers, breathing harshly against the Barkeep’s mouth, but the Barkeep kisses him again and pops opens the last button on his shirt, pushing it and his jacket off his shoulders.

He doesn’t call him beautiful, though it’s true. The word sits heavy in his mouth, on his tongue, something precious and weighty that pulls right on his heart when he thinks about saying it.

He doesn’t say anything of consequence, actually, though he thinks such dangerous things that’s he’s afraid they might just come tumbling out anyway. He wants to tell John he’s needed him, he missed him, he loves him. Maybe he’ll have the chance one day. After all, his future is still awaiting him.

When they finish, John coming with the Barkeep’s hand on him and panting hotly against the Barkeep’s neck, he kisses John sweetly, one last time (for now, he hopes desperately). And, after they right their clothes, that’s when the Barkeep breaks John’s heart himself with the promise of meeting the man who broke his.

For one fierce moment, he hates himself for doing so, but, it’s gone as quickly as flash of light. John’s eyes are on him, needing an explanation to his seemingly bizarre proposal, and the Barkeep is too full of love for him to ever hate himself for long.


End file.
